I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
