he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
