so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize