you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
