I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
