I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Barsexuality is the new black.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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