I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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