did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ugly people sure do ruin things
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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