So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
