Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
