No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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