He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
