so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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