Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
