i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
