is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
