I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
