Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
