You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
