I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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