I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Randomize
