Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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