Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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