6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
