I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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