I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
