How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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