It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
