Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
