Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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