I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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