he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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