you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
