My friends, they love my intelligence
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
