How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
