you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
