Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
