the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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