i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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