tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When did angry sex become our thing?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize