If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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