We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
