Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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