But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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