would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
BRING THE BAGELS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
