dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him