We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.