When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize