i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment