I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.