Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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