I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
