Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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