the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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