Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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