So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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