He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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