i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
