Me. At least after what I've been through.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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