I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
