he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize