Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
