My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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