we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
