Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
