Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
