i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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