White coat. Heels.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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