the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize