You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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