saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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