i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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