the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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