Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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