Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
