so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found your dick twin last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
