Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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